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Writer's pictureBrian Hadwin

Commom Types of BDSM Relationships

Many people that are new to the Lifestyle, or outsiders looking in, think all of BDSM relationships are the same. That there is One Dominant, One sub/slave; the Dominant tells the sub what to do, the sub gets punished for fun and that all subs are made to walk around on a collar and leash naked all the time

on their hands and knees. While this might be true for some, it is not true for most! Here are some of the most common types of BDSM relationships a couple outside BDSM that are closely related.

There are sexual and non-sexual, service, training, age play, and more. As an introduction, here are the most common forms that you will see in real life and cyber.


D/s - Dominant / submissive

This is the most common form you will hear about and encounter in a BDSM relationship. This usually consists of a Dominant (Male or Female) and one or more submissives/slaves. The power exchange or D/s in this type of

relationship cam be practiced in sessions, or as a 24/7 relationship, D/s is usually practiced in a scene related or training environment, or reserved for specific parts of a sub's life or specific hours, can alao be the foundation of a 24/7 lifestyle . The couple can be partially vanilla at times, can be two or more strangers getting together for a scene, or can be a paid Dominant with a sub.


M/s - Master(Mistress) / slave

This form of power exchange is a much deeper and stricter version of Dominance and submission. There is a Master/Mistress and either one or more submissives and/or slaves. You will normally see this type of relationship in a committed couple or committed poly group, cyber or real life.

The origins are based in real life 24/7 situations, where the sub/slave lives with

her/his Master/Mistress. The Master/Mistress will have rules and guidelines that

dictate how the sub/slave is to act, dress, interact with others, etc... in most parts

of the sub/slave's life. This relationship always includes tasks and punishments

as well. There are many people that are in online relationships that say they are

in M/s vs D/s based relationships.


S&M – Sadomasochism

In its purest form, this involves two people, one known as a Sadist that likes to

inflict sexual pain, and a Masochist, one that likes to receive sexual pain. There are many people in and around BDSM that are purely Sadomasochists. They do not describe or see themselves as Dominants or submissives. They are in BDSM simply for the sexual gratification of whips, chains, clamps, bondage, wax play,

etc. Now, D/s and M/s can certainly involve S&M, but does not necessarily mean it has to.

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